One woman, one pregnancy, three possible fathers. No, I’m not talking about an episode of Maury or Jerry Springer. I’m talking about a popular daytime soap opera. Now, I’m a single mother of one and by no means did I decide to swing to the Moral Right after repenting for my evil, sinful ways. However, I still find this storyline wrong on so many levels.

I’m a fourth generation soap opera fan (the first actually listened to it on the radio). I found them boring until they started the teenage story lines in the late 70s. After that, I watched certain ones whenever possible. They’ve never been a big influence in my life, that is to say, I’ve never really taken them seriously, even as a child. They just never seemed very realistic. It was like an alternate universe. No one ever went to the restroom, washed dishes, vacuumed the floor or did laundry. These people spent so much time in other people’s business; they have no time to work so they’re all pretty much independently wealthy. If they don’t have their own money, someone else is taking care of them. Nothing in the soaps ever seemed possible of happening in real life. Now, I’m wondering what came first, the chicken or the egg. Is “art” reflecting life or is life reflecting “art”?

I can answer that question rather quickly. This is not the first time there has been a storyline of “Who’s the Daddy?” I’ve seen them since I was a kid. Maybe I’ve never really paid that much attention to that type of storyline before or it could even be that times have changed so much that I started to question the consequences to this woman’s reckless behavior. Two of the possible fathers are brothers and two of the possible fathers are ex-husbands. They’ve tried to justify this recklessness by having people discuss what a hard time she’s been having the past few years. Her teenage daughter killed in a drunk driving accident and two husbands cheating on her, both ending in divorce. This is the culmination of a year of living badly. She shoplifted and blamed it on her son’s almost girlfriend thus justifying her reason why he shouldn’t date her. She’s also been carrying on an affair with her ex-brother-in-law and her married first ex-husband who runs to the rescue every time she flips her long blonde hair and yells “damsel, over here!” And through it all, both ex-husbands have been very apologetic and supportive. She even has sex with one ex-husband’s brother the night before his wedding. All three are pledging their support and clambering to be the baby’s father.

I believe the multiple sex partners are justified by the soap opera wizards because these people are very wealthy pillars of the community. I suppose their STD cleanliness should not be questioned in this regard, right? I’m not saying I’m a daily watcher of these programs but, in the time that I have watched it, the question of anyone’s HIV status has not come up. Neither has the word condom. I think maybe that’s a little too much to ask for, actual consequences for actions they seek to glamorize. As the bed hopping increased over the 70s and 80s, so did the instances of “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. It’s become an old standard but, should they finally retire it or maybe even modify it to finally reflect the times, albeit 20 years overdue? Besides, the soaps make bed hopping look cool, which brings me to my next issue.

It’s summer time! School is out and those kids who stay at home are more than likely being taken care of by someone who can’t tear themselves away from the soaps. So they’re plopped down right there in front of the TV with their caretaker taking all of this in. This alternate, fantasy universe where there are no STDs, the baby’s father(s) can’t wait to take responsibility and there is all the money in the world to take care of this baby (oh, all three fathers are the rich scions of the fathers of industry in this town). You see, this woman was a single mother and she married up and we know that happens everyday, right? In soap opera land, there is no HIV or any other STDs. There is no welfare or child support. Why in the 80s, there was a young woman on a different show who had 3 children, 3 baby daddies and I suspect her storyline was such a mess, they just finally got rid of her, never to be seen or spoken about again. Her mother had another daughter to replace her and I guess the soap opera wizards just prayed everyone would forget the first one ever existed. That tells me they knew something wasn’t quite right about how her story just went completely off the reservation.

Judging by the fact that they still exist, soap operas must still do very well in the ratings, except for one which has gone from radio to outside live shots and will be ending this year. I am by no means advocating the demise of the soap opera industry. However, it’s been said that successful works of fiction are just that only because there’s a grain of truth, a remote possibility that it could happen this way or could be happening this way, somewhere. These days, reality is very hard to find in the soap operas. It’s especially hard when there’s a 60 year old woman married to a 40 year old man giving birth for the fourth time because in the past, she’s either given away her children or disappeared with amnesia when her other children were young.

I’m staunchly against censorship. I always have been. I was angered during the 80s when they tossed around the idea of increasing censorship. In my opinion, you’re dictating to me what I should read, watch or listen to. I’ve always admired the Europeans lack of bleeps and voice overs on regular television. I’ve always wondered how they balance what they broadcast and how it affects their society. I feel the only censorship there should be in the US is by parents. As my son grows older, I’m toying with different levels of censorship and questioning him about what he’s reading, viewing and listening to. I’m by no means a perfect mother. I just try to be awake at the wheel.

In addition to the soaps retiring their old “Who’s the Daddy?” storyline, I’m advocating an increase in awareness on what they show on daytime television when most parents are at work. I’m also advocating that daytime writers start getting a little bit more creative. Yes sex sells but, without a little creativity, it gets boring as well.